Thursday, July 26, 2012

The Good Cry

So I set aside a few hours today to watch movies.
Well, let me back up a second. Here’s the deal.
I woke up today feeling a little off, a little blah, after actually going to bed that way too. Well, 'blah' is not even an accurate word. If you are of the female gender you know know what I mean. There’s nothing that hurts, no one thing that is on my heart and mind. And that is the issue at the core. There are a lot of thing on my mind and heart.
So I decided to not let it get out of hand – to do something about it.
I’m not obsessing. Not by a long shot.  This is just a time when there happen to be a few things I’m working through simultaneously; caring for my mom, missing my son, contemplating decisions, grieving some areas of my life, and simply in a search for some answers that seem so long in coming.
 And one thing that almost all women can relate to is the fact that when we have days or even seasons like this – and then sometimes for no apparent reason at all – we just need a good cry.
Men make fun of it. They don’t understand it. I think it frightens them a bit. Emotion on that level usually does.
But we understand one another. And we also know what having this special time set aside can do. If handled properly it provides a cleansing that nothing else can.
So why do we need days like this?  I think it’s because as women we’re made as a reflection of the emotional side of our Creator. And that’s become a beautiful thing to me.
If men were a full representation of Him there would be no need for us. But God saw an infinitely better plan. To have us truly be the other half of one another, and to complement one another. To fill in the gaps He made us differently for a reason – to help us discover and understand HIM more!

So today I celebrated both my emotional side and my need for Him, but in a very selective way.
I got my bible, my devotional, and spent time with Him in prayer and in conversation first.
His word tell me “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” Jeremiah 33:3
I poured out and worked through the things known, and eventually the things hidden that He revealed that are also putting a bit of weight on my heart and mind.

Then with the right choice of movies the rest of my day of cleansing began. I watched movies today like Steel Magnolias, Finding Nemo, and Facing the Giants  - movies that tug at my heart and provide good lessons and reminders (and yes, there are several in Finding Nemo by the way). These and many like them result in a good cry for me because the cry comes with a ‘better ending than the beginning’.
I went through a lot of Kleenex today people.

Once I was done with the movies I returned once again to finish that much needed conversation with God. My chance to verbalize what I was feeling now, what He had said to my heart over the last few hours, and the chance to thank Him. I thanked Him for being my everything, for understanding me, for speaking to me, for being patient, for already working for my good in these things that were my concerns, and then I handed everything on my heart and mind over to Him. And I told Him that I’m very thankful to be made truly in His image
John 11:35 “Jesus wept”
 Luke 19:11 “But as Jesus came closer to Jerusalem and saw the city ahead, he began to weep.”
It brings me unbelievable comfort to know that Jesus, God’s Son, a part of the mysterious Holy Trinity, and Creator of the World wept. He wept for those He loved, those suffering, and for those in need.
I used to hate to cry by the way, hated that feeling. It seemed a weakness to me. But as I’ve grown older, closer to him, and now that I understand more how He designed me, why He created me with certain traits, I see this is another way to undergird my need for Him. And it draws us closer together.
It’s not that I like to cry, and I hate that I can make that really ugly face sometimes when I do – one that can even freak my dog out. But I love the fact it is by His design that I can and need to cry. That He made me like Himself. That He created me with the capacity for deep love, to be concerned for others, for compassion, empathy, sympathy, and a need to pour my heart and my eyes out to the only One who can calm, heal, touch, encourage, and mend me.

So I feel better this evening, refreshed and renewed.
“… weeping may endure for a night, but JOY comes in the morning” Psalm 30:5
I am His daughter. I turned to him today to be emptied out and then filled. And I believe it pleased Him to come to me in that sweet time, and to do just that.
If you need a good cry invite him to meet you there, seek Him out in very specific ways.
Romans 8:15-16 “The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.  And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father.’ The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.Give Him the chance to hold you, to speak deep things, to renew you and take your burden. Don’t go there by yourself, you weren’t made to cry alone – let Him weep with you.
Joyful on the Journey

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