“Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you.” Job 22:21 (NIV)
I always thought I would be a professional woman. I’d gone to college, bought the briefcase, suit and heels, and planned my future. Although I wanted children, I envisioned them complementing my life, much like a pretty piece of jewelry. Little did I know God had a completely different agenda.
In a span of four years, my husband and I had three little boys. All active. I just about lost my mind. Seriously. I remember grocery shopping alone with them…once. Four-year-old Joshua promised he would walk next to me, which of course he didn’t. So there I was, chasing Josh, with two-year-old Dylan trying to climb out of the cart to follow and baby Robbie screaming because he hated being confined. I felt like climbing over the cart, and running down the aisle screaming myself.
From that day on, I embraced bribery with no shame. If it got me through a shopping trip, I tried it. But it wasn’t just shopping that did me in. I dragged my three little boys places I saw other mothers take their children. Only their little ones sat quietly, playing nicely with small toys. My boys however, saw an adventure waiting to happen everywhere we went. If they were quiet, that meant trouble. I lost track of the number of meetings and events I left in tears, angry at what seemed like limitations on the life I thought I was supposed to have.
During those early years of parenting, I tried to regain my old life, and find the old Glynnis, but it just wasn’t happening. My personal goals slammed into reality on a daily basis, leaving me frustrated and questioning what I thought was my calling.
With a college degree, wasn’t I supposed to be pursuing a career? Didn’t God want me to use my administrative talents in the church? Wasn’t I supposed to volunteer to lead women’s ministry, direct vacation Bible school, head up an outreach program and sing in the choir? If so, why couldn’t I do it all anymore?
I had been going a hundred miles an hour my own way. And not once did this God-following girl stop to see if I was letting Him lead. I didn’t ask for His priorities. After all, my responsibilities and choices were all “good” things. And, God had equipped me with talents to do them. But there was a problem I ignored — they weren’t God’s assignments for me at that time.
It took a mini earthquake in the form of a cross-country move to get my attention. With that move, God took away all those “good” things. For a time, I rebelled in my heart. I blamed my husband for taking me out of God’s will as I saw it.
My life felt empty, with nothing left. When I finally stopped feeling sorry for myself, I looked up and saw there was something: a loving husband and three precious little boys.
In my determination to serve God the way I always had, I missed that He had changed my mission field. No longer was it focused outside my home. God showed me that my first line of ministry was to my husband and children. This realization rearranged my priorities and changed my relationship with God and my family.
I learned that good things aren’t always my assignment. And just because I can do something doesn’t mean I should. Those three little boys are now teenagers, and God added two girls to our family six years ago. He also added back in career and volunteer responsibilities that I do from home. But one thing has not changed: I must seek God’s will for my life in this season…because this season isn’t last season, and good isn’t always God’s best.
Dear Lord, thank You for loving me in spite of my stubborn and determined ways. I’m sorry for the times I’ve neglected to seek Your will for me. Help me to become a woman who submits her dreams and goals into Your loving hands. You have never failed to bring me joy and satisfaction when I do so. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.